That weird feeling

Does anyone else get this weird feeling inside of them when they think about something in the past? I don't mean like laughing about a memory, or crying because of something sad that happened. I mean like deep inside your heart, where it reaches even your stomach. For some reason, this super nice weather has brought up memories from like senior year of high school and from things that happened in my life this time last year. It's an inexplainable feeling but the past few times I have driven to school with the windows down, something pops in my head. Lately, it has been things that happened last year around this same time, and what comes to mind is how much things have changed. I heard a song once that said "days go by slow, and years go by fast" and honestly I could not think of a more relatable quote for myself. I look back now where I was last year at this time, and I was lost. I was not at Lewis. I did not know some of the people that I do know now. I was feeling very different than I do now. As I do look back and get that weird feeling in my stomach, I could not be happier where I am now. I hear some of the songs that I listened to then, that I never listen to now, and I think to myself why did I let myself listen to that and let myself hear that. I see some of the people I was friends with last year this time that I know longer am friends with, and I think to myself how did I surround myself with those people. The days from then to now seemed to have taken forever, but change that word to year, and boy did it go fast. So, I think that weird feeling may be a sense of peace, knowing that I am a whole other person than the one I was last year.

My Writing Journey Courtesy of Doggos

Starbucks

I'm sure many of you have heard about what happened at the Starbucks in Philadelphia with the arrest of two black men who were simply hanging out and waiting to meet their friend. The manager did not approve of this since neither of them did not buy anything. I find this to be a very troubling situation for many reasons. One, Starbucks is known to be a meet up place. What if these two men were waiting for their other friend until they ordered a drink? When I go to any Starbucks, I see many people that are just chilling at the couches, chairs, and tables without even having a Starbucks product with them. I go to one Starbucks specifically near my house which is in close proximity to a few schools nearby. On many days when I am there around the time those schools get out for the day, kids FLOOD in and more than half don't even by anything but they all hang out there until they move on to the next place to disrupt. I don't see any police coming to kick these kids out? Even if there is a loitering policy, it does not seem to be upheld. Many people stick around for 2 o3 3 hours only purchasing one drink and taking up seating for the time they are there. Two, if there was seriously something wrong with these men then video evidence should be released to the public because there is no way Starbucks didn't get this scene on video. The only video I saw was one on Twitter that looks to be from either a Snapchat video or phone video where these two men are being handcuffed and a few white people are asking these cops why they are doing this because they saw nothing wrong with what the two men were doing. I am not in any way trying to talk badly about the police because I 100% back the Blue and think Blue Lives matter, however, I am just wondering what really happened at this Starbucks? Three, why does there have to a day where all Starbucks close so they can receive racial bias training? There is an estimate 238,000 Starbucks employees in the US and there are over 13,000 Starbucks stores in the US. Why do all stores have to close down because of one employee who made a bad decision? This one bad employee who might just be a bad person is causing 238,000 employees to get training and over 13,000 stores to close down. That is a bit extreme to have to do since every Starbucks I have been to, including stores in several different states around the nation, have never once gave up a racist vibe.

Kruz!

MY BEST FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY IS MAY 1!!!! This is my dog who is named Kruzer. I got Kruzer in fourth grade a few months after I had to put my Beagle down. Kruzer is the most playful, loving, and crazy dog I have ever met. His stomach is bulletproof. He once ate 2 lbs of chocolate fudge and was perfectly fine even leading up to getting his stomach pumped. I think this dog has eaten more things he shouldn't eat than his own dog food. My mom believes that Kruz is my Grandpa (her dad) incarnated and that is hard to describe since none of you met my Grandpa when he was alive but boy, do they have some crazy similarities. Kruz loves to be babied as well. He hates being alone more than anything. Sometimes, I think he actually suffers from anxiety or bi-polar. Though dogs cannot be bi-polar, they can definitely have anxiety! He just gets so hyped up when the doorbell rings or especially when the vacuum goes on. My mom literally has to send him to daycare so she can vacuum or she cannot get anything done with him around. Kruz brings such happiness and even though we all get mad at him sometimes, he never gets mad at us. If humans acted with the love that dogs act with, the world would be a much better place. 

My mom was gone for a week!

By the way that title sounds, it sounds like my mom was kidnapped! No worries though. She was just in Texas helping her brother, sister-in-law, and 9 month niece move into their new home from Orlando. While my mom was gone, I missed her like crazy. This was very weird to me because I went to school in Florida last year and I did not have that same feeling then! My mom and I are best friends. We do basically everything together and she actually knows literally everything about me. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful and amazing best friend in my life. Having her gone for a week actually tore me up. I cried once because I missed her so much! It could have been also because I was so stressed with school which made it even worse that she wasn't there because she is the only one who can console me. My dad, brothers, and my boyfriend all try to match up to her in terms of comforting me and consoling me, but no one and I mean NO ONE will ever match up to her. My relationship with my mom has always been a good one, however, it really starting getting stronger the past year or year and a half. I relate to my mom more than ever now, and I truly get scared thinking that one day I will have to be without her. I feel like tearing up right now thinking about it! My mom has taught me everything I know and has made me the strong and confident woman I am today. I owe her the world and more.

4 weeks

I have never been so excited for school to end in my entire life. This semester, I have taken more classes than normal and although I am good at time management and handling lots of things at one time, it gets very very tiresome. As a nursing student, I am studying 7 days a week and that is not an option. Things that I used to do almost everyday like working out, seeing my boyfriend/spending time with family, or working at my job, I hardly ever get to do because when the school day ends for at about 1/2 everyday, I grab a coffee and get to studying. I don't get to workout, I don't get to spend time with people I love, and I had to take a student leave from my job because it has just gotten vey difficult to cut time out for studying. I know everyone has their struggles with school and that is something that almost all college kids can bond with. Everyone always tells me that I need to slow down and take a breather/a break but the way I look at it, I have two more years in the school world and then I will be done (hopefully forever). So I am constantly pushing myself to get to that finish line and then I will take a breather. Although I am taking two summer classes, they are online and it really helps with my schedule for the fall. 4 weeks left. We all can do this.

So I saw this picture on a news app. I think it speaks very different things at the same time. When I first saw this, I thought, "why are these kids posing like they are in an Urban Outfitters advertisement?" I had major mixed emotions about this. I think its wonderful that these kids and other kids around the nation are protesting things that they believe in.  Freedom of speech is powerful, and it's great we live in a country where they can do this. However, why does it have to be advertised in a way that actually looks like the Urban Outfitters models' advertisements? These kids have just lived through a complete tragedy with first hand experience of what had happened. Which is devastating, but because of that, celebrities and other billionaires backing these kids are tossing them out there, slapping them on advertisements, and hiding behind them like human shields. Organizers of the anti-gun march are the same organizers for other common marches that we see on Washington as well. With that being said, yes, these kids have founded their own group but in order to get that group in the media and to have their own march, they needed other famous activists to organize this, sponsor this, fund this. So with that, these organizers will be writing their speeches, telling them what to say and how to say it. One of the students at Stoneman Douglas High School actually said he wouldn't go on national tv about the situation because he did not want to have to read off of a script given to him. Should they really be using these kids to push their agendas on the rest of us? Should these kids be slapped on advertisements for major networks to hide behind? Activists and other networks don't want to have a debate so the most reasonable thing to do is throw these kids out there, saying to the rest of us- be quiet and listen.  Again, I think it is wonderful that these marches are being done; everyone has that right because this is America. But, I think America should not be treated like children, should not be so gullible, and should look deeper into things.

Most Oddly Satisfying Video short story response

I'll be completely honest, I really have no idea what this article was about. i understand it is all about how a gelatin sphere gave one woman in particular relief from a hard day of being fired, and that she uses this gelatin sphere for all other attempts to relieve herself. However, the thumbnail portions completely confused me. I didn't understand the importance of the thumbnail. I took more interest when the author talked about people she sees everyday that are very similar to her to the point of her thinking that these people ARE here. I had to giggle when she called her therapist and asked to speak her but the receptionist said that she was with someone so the author just sighed and said, "ah, well played, other me." that does sound like something i would say. I see many people everyday where I see glimpses of myself in them. I think what it would be like if I was that person and that person was me, switched places. Then I get a weird feeling inside and come back to reality. I also liked the whole "that was another me," concept. I think we all are reminded of things that we did in the past and may be ashamed, embarrassed, or even reminiscent about those times and just say "yeah, but that was a different/another me." I am 100% guilty of thinking this! So while I was confused by some of this article, I definitely found myself relating to this author in author ways.

Brad Paisley-a different kind of cowboy before 'Accidental Racist'?: EBSCOhost

Brad Paisley-a different kind of cowboy before 'Accidental Racist'?: EBSCOhost



If there's one thing that has described me since I was 5, it's that I am a huge country music fan. From Hank Williams and Alabama, to George Strait and Garth Brooks, to modern day guys like Thomas Rhett, I love them all. I've never really had the opportunity to do a project about it, so I thought I would research some topics this time. It's a very broad topic to search so I wasn't sure what I was going to come up with. I didn't even know if this would work since I really had no direction in the topic. However, scrolling through the many pages, I found a really interesting and recent article on one of my favorite country artists who I actually just saw in concert- Brad Paisley. Brad Paisley is known for his dry sense of humor heard in his songs that can be viewed as satire, and his amazing guitar skills. He's well known in other music genres as seen by his collaborations with pop artist Demi Lovato as well as with rock and roll legend Mick Jagger. Country music is very different compared to many other genres and I think everyone knows this which is why people tend to either hate it or love it. Although, there are some fair weather fans, who literally only listen to it when the weather is good and their car windows are rolled down. While country music is seen as this "feel good" genre, there is so much depth within in the music that is not always so "feel good". Though it is always not this "Sunny and 75" type of music (pun intended- that is a name of a country song), country music tells a story that is more than the 3 minute song length. That is what this article is about. This article dives into some of the depth that Brad Paisley has wrote about. In particular, Paisley wrote two songs that this article really analyzes- "Those Crazy Christians" and "Accidental Racist." Paisley sings about two very controversial topics that usually catches everyone attention- racism and religion. While these songs do have some provocative lyrics, I think it is important to realize that there are SO many other genres that do this to an extreme. I don't mean to stereotype but I think rap is one of these genres. Listening to one rap song says all you need to know about the genre. It's all about drugs, guns, strippers; these VERY provocative terms used to describe all the above makes me wonder why Paisley's tracks were seen as so controversial. I learned a lot from this article and even though country may not be for everyone, these two songs are a good listen, and listeners can learn so much from them. It's a different outlook on racism and religion that is not always seen in the media.

Brad Paisley concert

After a very hard week of school, this past Saturday, my boyfriend and I went to see country artist Brad Paisley in concert. This was my second time seeing him in concert, and it only got better. I have been to several concerts before- country, pop, rock and roll, and even rap. However, I have never seen any performers interact with their audience like country artists do. Brad Paisley did not disappoint with that whatsoever. Not only did he let fans come up on stage with him and hang out by an onstage bar the ENTIRE concert, but also had two proposals on stage, had a fan sing with him, and even took one fan's phone to take selfies with. There's just something about a country concert that makes my heart feel so good inside. Here is a video of a very close up experience I had with Brad! I was SO close to touching him!

When I first saw this commercial on Super Bowl  Sunday, I was super excited because I love the Budweiser ads. They always have a dramatic appearance that speaks about a lot more than beer. A lot of beer commercials are just about having fun at a bar, or a view of the icy mountains that Coors Light always airs. However, Budweiser does more than just show a good time. The company usually tries to get viewers to get into their feels, which is a very good strategy. For example, some people don't like the whole crazy bar atmosphere that beer commercials present, and some people don't really like drinking beer in the first place. With the Budweiser commercials, this could change people's minds. They might have a Budweiser beer because they like the way the commercial made them feel deep inside- not the usual temporary happiness that alcoholic beverages tend to give. Budweiser commercials show history, emotion, depth, and you can tell they take their time with their commercials so they can get to the heart of their viewers. This Super Bowl commercial was amazing. Budweiser stopped all regular beer processing to fill their beer cans with water to give to the places that were devastated by natural disasters.  Even though I can't legally drink, it made me want to raise a Bud to this company for what they are doing for communities all over the nation. And even when my family saw this commercial everyone said how Budweiser always does the best job with their commercials. My mom, who never drinks, was very impressed with the company and respects the work that they do for the community. One of my all time favorite Budweiser commercials was last year's Super Bowl commercial featuring the Budweiser story of immigrant Adolphus Busch journey's to America where he met his co founder- Eberhard Anheuser in a St. Louis bar in the late 1800s. It was a powerful story that brought to light the power immigration had in finding not only America, but so businesses in America. While I was looking for the 2018 Super Bowl ad, I came cross another commercial that was aired in June 2017. Another example of Budweiser's love for the community, specifically our nation's veterans. This company really knows how to advertise more than just beer. I had to include that June 2017 commercial as well.

We have begun the Lenten journey! For those of you who do not know what Lent is, it is the 40 day time period prior to Easter celebrated by Catholics and other religions as well. I am not sure what other religions do because I have been raised Catholic, and I unfortunately am unaware with what other religions participate in this journey. During this journey, we are to "give up" something to prepare us for Easter. What we can give up anything from pop, to sweets, to my extreme- social media! You can also do something for 40 days that you don't normally do rather than give something up. This could be maybe saying a daily morning prayer or reading daily scripture. Really, it's just important to grow closer to God like Jesus did with his 40 day journey in the desert where he fasted from all earthly food and was tempted numerous times by the devil. With the small history lesson out of the way, I would like to talk about what it is that I have gave up which is social media! For me, that means, no Snapchat, Instagram, or Twitter since those are the only social media accounts I have. (I don't count Pinterest as one, but I'm sure it falls under that category) I did this once in high school and did well with it but I figured I would try again now as a college student. It hasn't been that hard so far! It's nice to not have to be bothered with constantly taking homework breaks to check on what everyone has been doing. I am a culprit of this social media generation so it is nice to not have to worry about it. My brother asked me how I haven't been tempted yet, and I guess it may because that I deleted the apps so I don't even have the access to them (unless, I go to the app store but I am way to lazy to do that lol) but I also think it is because I wanted to do this. I always tell myself that I should just delete the apps for a week, but never actually do it. And now since I have a reason to do so, I want to do exactly that. I want to live without out that loud noise that social media gives off. I am excited for this Lenten journey! I wish you all luck in yours and even if you don't participate in it, I pray that you grow closer to God during this 40 period time before joyous Easter!

Snow Day!

I felt like a little kid again waiting for the call that school was going to be cancelled tomorrow, February 9. I can remember going to bed in grade school and in high school and waking up the next morning to find my school's name on the bottom screen of WGN morning news. It feels like I haven't been in Writing class in forever; however, I feel the same about many of my other classes. This nasty flu is going around that many of my teachers have caught as well unfortunately. Many of my classes this week were cancelled because of this bug. Now with the snow day, it's another day of cancelled classes. Hopefully, with this long weekend, we can all rest up and return to school good as new! Luckily, this snow day does help me to catch up on some things that I felt piling up on me. I can always hear this voice in the back of head haunting me with the list of things I need to get done. I hope everyone has a good weekend and can catch up on so many things just like me!

Today is February 2, 2017 and today marks the 5 year anniversary of Chris Kyle's devastating death. If anyone has seen American Sniper, starring Bradley Cooper, then you know exactly who Chris Kyle is. He was the legendary United States Navy Seal sniper. He served four tours in the Iraq War and is known to be the deadliest sniper in U.S. history. He is accounted for at least 160 kills by the Pentagon, however that number is supposedly supposed to be twice that. It is almost impossible to put into words just how much Chris Kyle did for America. The movie doesn't even cover all of his accomplishments and all that he did to protect the American people and his brothers at war. Most of the things he accomplished is not heard of by the regular civilian. We don't know half of the things that go on overseas. But one thing is for sure, the things that do go on- no regular civilian could ever be able to relate to or attempt to do. When Chris came home from the war for good, he helped out many veterans who were having a hard time to adjust to regular life back in society. This was when his tragic death happened. On February 2, 2013 Chris was on his way to help out another war veteran with handling depression and other psychological problems that Chris, nor his family, were
aware of. When Chris met the man at the gun range, things ended badly, as Chris was murdered by this man. His wife, Taya Kyle, has written a book about her time with Chris, his death, and how she can get up every morning knowing she will not have her husband by her side. I highly recommend reading both Taya's book and Chris's autobiography. It is so hard to comprehend how the most lethal sniper in American history was not killed in combat, but in his homeland by a fellow veteran. With that being said, there are so many other men like Chris Kyle that continuously save our lives everyday without us even knowing. They go unnoticed until Hollywood decides to make a film about them. The unnoticed should be in our hearts and our minds always. I believe we live in the greatest country in the world. To the men fighting for our lives each and every day, the men that have lost their lives for our sake, and the men who have finally come back home, we honor you and we thank you for your service. We respect you all and that is why we STAND for you all. 

1.     My documentary was After Innocence, and it was about what happens to the wrongfully accused imprisoners after they are exonerated and released into civilian life. Needless to say, it was a very intense documentary that pointed out the problems with America’s judicial systems at the time and most likely in today’s world as well. The intensity throughout the whole documentary got to me. Some scenes, for example, made me question the government and others just made me feel incredibly sad for these innocent people, who seemed to be treated still as murders and rapists, though there was clear innocence for them. In one scene, a district attorney of Louisiana was asked a few questions about one exoneree’s imprisonment, Calvin Willis. One question he was asked was if it was tragic that Calvin spent twenty years in jail when, if there was evidence twenty years ago, they would not have prosecuted him. The attorney did reply with yes however; he went on to say, “But that does not mean Calvin was wrongly convicted. He wasn’t. The system worked exactly like it was supposed to…the government doesn’t owe an apology to anybody about that, this is just a horrible thing.” I was completely taken aback by this. This attorney is saying that although the evidence wasn’t there twenty years ago, Calvin was convicted regardless. That was just the way the system worked and how it was supposed to work. So, the judicial system was supposed to convict a man they had no evidence on? I could not believe that. That is like hurting my poor puppy because a stranger said that it bit him, when there was no sign of a bite or blood on this stranger anywhere. However, since this human over powers an uncommunicative puppy, I am to believe him. That makes no sense. AND THEN, to say the government doesn’t owe an apology?! HOW! This man’s own government failed him, and it’s not going to apologize for this? Calvin just lost twenty years of opportunistic time in his life, and he can’t even get a “Sorry.” Along with Calvin, there were many other exonerees going through this same inhumane trauma. There was actually one right here in Chicago, IL. His name was Aaron Patterson This gave me a sense of sadness, knowing that this happened just 25 miles away. Though I do not know this man, I feel close to him since of this location. Governor George Ryan was the governor of Illinois who pardoned Aaron for the crimes he was innocent for. Aaron went on to tell the governor how he is helping those who come out of prison adjust to civilian life. He mentioned how these ex-prisoners are handed a bus ticket, taken to the bus station, and that’s it. No guidance, no help, nothing. It really made me feel uneasy about the judicial system, and just how flawed it truly was. This whole documentary was so touching that I don’t think I can hit on all the points that changed my viewpoints. I always thought that those who are guilty get what they deserve, but what if those people are actually the innocent?

2.     There were a couple things that surprised me about this documentary. To name a few, I was surprised at the fact that some of the wrongfully imprisoned men actually forgave their prosecutors, as well as the victims who accused them! They are much better persons than I will ever be because of this. I couldn’t imagine looking at the face of the one who defiled me, broke me, and gave me a record that will forever be a burden in my life. That was truly something. Another surprising detail was how little the government does for these innocent men. One exoneree said how if he was actually guilty and was released on parole, he would be entitled to health care, job training, placement in society, and housing that people on parole are entitled to. However, as a free and innocent man, all he got was $5.37 by the State of Pennsylvania. How could this be that innocent man who suffered years in jail and dealt with assault, solitary confinement, depression, gets absolute no help adjusting to civilian life. It sounds much like how our government fails to help veterans adjust to civilian life after years spent on tours, risking their lives for our country. Although I have known about the troubles veterans have to go through, I never knew that innocent men released from jail have to go through the same thing. Also, I thought that once these men are exonerated, their records are clean and that they can get a job or a house with no problem. However, this is not the case. The men are still fighting to get the years spent in jail and the charges against them off their records. How can an innocent person have charges on his record for crimes he did not commit? These are just a few things to name that surprised me throughout the documentary. There are plenty more that I wish I could reflect upon.

3.     I have so many questions about the documentary. To start, how many of these innocent people that were charged with crimes are women? Unfortunately, all of those interviewed were men. Regardless of innocent or guilty people, what even is the ratio of men to women in jail? What can we do differently in the judicial system to help the prisoners? I remember a teacher once said how Norway is reported to have the best prison system and because of this, the murder, incarceration, and re-arrest rates, are some of the lowest in the world. At the time, I didn’t think anything of this, but now because of this documentary, I want to look further into this. Although justice should be served and those should pay for the evil acts they commit, is America’s form of punishment the best form of punishment. I am sure it easier said than done. If someone in my family was murdered, I would want the murderer to be sentenced to death on the spot. It is hard to accept and forgive the evil done in this world. How do we forgive a man who killed 58 innocent concertgoers from a distant hotel room for no reason, and then was cowardly enough to kill himself? How do we forgive the most evil of people? If we were to change our prison systems, why would we let these evil terrorists, both domestic and foreign, live in comfortable settings instead of rotting to death? If we did change the systems, would we also see changes in the incarceration and murder rates in the USA like Norway has seen?

4.     It’s tough to see problematic concepts on a documentary that is already about problematic concepts. I guess maybe the film could be seen as sexist? Although I do not think this, some may. Mostly all of the crimes “committed” were rape and murder. Are there other crimes that people could be exonerated for? The government’s judicial system is most definitely a problematic concept in the film. It’s been over ten years since this film was released, I wonder what the exoneration rates are like now and if there have been any improvements since 2005. Many of these innocent men were forced to go through therapy for crimes they did not commit. I wonder if this therapy made the men feel even crazier than they already did about being in a jail for being innocent. I wonder if all prisoners are given therapy, and if so, how many of them find it useful. This film was so interesting and after going through the documentary list multiple times, I am happy to have chosen this one.

Wedding Time!

Wedding pictures take forever to come in. My brother got married on December 2, and my sister-in-law just got the pictures over the weekend. There were 2,000 of them but I personally think the pictures of my uncle and I walking into the reception were some of the funniest ones. My uncle is 40ish (something like that, but definitely does not look like it) and he has always been in love with Star Wars. He would always play Dungeons and Dragons as a kid, so I guess, you could say that if it was 1983 in Hawkins, Indiana, my uncle would fit right in with the Stranger Things kids. Anyways, this was my first wedding ever! It was amazing, and it was so much fun spending time with my family for such a happy occasion. I'll always remember my uncle and I's entrance into the reception with the Star Wars them song playing in the background. Oh also, I had to go out and buy those lightsabers for the both of us since my uncle said that his was too precious and valuable to use. Let's just say my mom was not happy with me spending money on those toys, that are now sitting in our basement collecting dust.